Suppose a loved one is behaving differently than usual, or you notice them having trouble in some part of their life. In that case, you may suspect they are struggling with substance abuse.
A problem with drugs or alcohol may be to blame for the changes you have noticed. Before you approach a loved one, assuming they have an addiction, you’ll want to confirm that this is the problem they are struggling with.
Signs of Drug and Alcohol Addiction
The signs you should be looking for when determining if your loved one is dealing with an addiction involve whether their personality has changed and if they are having trouble managing the basic parts of their life due to suspected drug or alcohol use. Next, consider whether they have changed their habits around drugs and alcohol. The answers will help determine if there is a problem and its severity.
Personality Changes
Your loved one may:
- Have trouble with concentration and making decisions
- Remembering things and staying alert
- Isolate themselves from their friends and family
- Lose interest in the hobbies and activities they used to enjoy
- Become argumentative with family members and friends, especially if someone mentions drug or alcohol use to them
- Feel sad, anxious, or even angry during times they aren’t drinking or using drugs
- Take risks to obtain and use drugs or alcohol
Difficulty Managing Everyday Life
You may discover that your loved one is having difficulty managing their life in several ways:
- Increased absences from work or school
- Grades slipping at school
- Poor performance at work
- Strained personal and professional relationships
- Increased number of health issues
- Lower self-esteem
Changes in Drug and Alcohol Use
If your loved one demonstrates one or more of these signs, they may be addicted to drugs or alcohol:
- Using drugs or alcohol to cope with stress or life problems
- Spending more money on drugs or alcohol
- Trying new kinds of drugs
- Mixing drugs and alcohol to get a more intense experience
- Spending time with new friends based on using drugs or alcohol
- Using drugs or alcohol to start the day at work or school
- Using more often or alone
How to Talk to Someone About Their Addiction
Once you have determined that your loved one has a substance abuse (addiction) problem, you’ll need to plan your approach when talking to them carefully. The person may not realize that the way they are using drugs and alcohol has become a problem.
Denial as Part of Addiction
Denial is a powerful part of addiction. While it may be clear to people around the person with a substance abuse issue that they have a problem that can benefit from treatment, the person affected may be one of the last people to admit it.
Why is denial so powerful? People don’t like to change. It’s easier to hang on to old behavior patterns than to adopt new ones. When talking about someone with a substance abuse disorder, they have turned to drugs and alcohol for a reason.
Their chemical use started to help the person with an addiction cope with some life stressors. Examples of these life stressors are:
- awkwardness in social situations
- dealing with physical or emotional violence
- masking symptoms of mental illness
- pressure to perform well at school or work
- shame or guilt after being the survivor of sexual assault or molestation
Get Rid of Expectations Around Your Conversation
Starting a conversation with your loved one may feel awkward or uncomfortable. It is a way to show them that you care. Keep in mind that talking to someone about their addiction may bring out strong emotions. It may not go exactly as you expect.
Choose the Time and Place Carefully
Have the conversation in a private place where you won’t be overheard. Reassure your loved one that anything you discuss will be kept in the strictest confidence.
Don’t bring up the subject of addiction when your loved one is under the influence. The person with an addiction isn’t in a good place to discuss their drug and alcohol use when they are using or drinking.
Use “I” Statements
An example of a conversation is: “I want to talk to you because I’ve noticed that you have been drinking/using drugs lately. I care about and love you, and I want the best for you – always. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but they are affecting the way you behave at home, work, or school. I’m concerned about the way/amount you are taking, and I would like you to think about getting some help.”
Listen Carefully
For many people, this will be the most challenging part of the conversation: listening without interrupting and without judgment. The person may open up to you about the reasons why they are using chemicals.
Be Patient
If your goal is to get your loved one to agree to go to treatment, it may take more than one conversation for this to happen. Ultimately, the decision to go to treatment belongs to the person living with the addiction.
When your loved one is ready for drug and alcohol treatment, French Creek Recovery Center offers a holistic approach focusing on mind, body, and spirit. Our trained staff treats clients from various backgrounds with empathy and professionalism.